Please welcome Guest Blogger Anna Carbone!
Take a walk with me...a few years back.......... Febuary 2013 "Mom We have to Talk" Those 5 little words struck terror in my heart. Did she quit her job or get fired? OH no, is she pregnant? No, she was going to be baptized in a church I knew nothing about. "Mom, they don't smoke, drink, do drugs or alcohol or sex before marriage!" Ok...she is going to start a new phase and I am ok with this because she will have her moral compass pointed in the right way! I am ok with this! Ha, maybe she will be a little more considerate, kind and respectful! Huh- she's been seeing these "missionaries" when I am not here. I bet this is about a "boy" doesn't matter, she seems happy, and I am OK with this!
June 2013- "Mom we have to talk" Now what can this be? "Mom, I am going on a mission, and I will be gone for 18 months" Huh? OK, I will use my vacation time and come and see you "Ahh mom, you can't come visit me. But I can call you 2 times a year and you can email me!" OH My Gosh, she has lost her mind! What kind of church sends their kids off? She told me the boys go out for 2 years. This is crazy. In my church we have missions too, but for 6 weeks at a time and they build a house in Africa or somewhere. I guess I have to Google this.
Google information I did not like. They can send kids anywhere in the world, what? There are bad people in some places; my worry gene has kicked in. More lessons and different missionaries..and YSA friends are always over and trying to get me to join. Ha, sure no way. I happen to love my coffee and occasional wine and I should quit smoking someday, but not now.
All this getting ready for this mission. That is all I hear about day in and day out and the closer it gets she is getting very prickly and I am getting sadder by the moment. How does one deal with this? I don't even have any friends who are dealing with this, so I am alone in a world of this mission. She is always gone to church or activates or institute, but I like calling it "institution" cause that's where they will send me when she leaves on this crazy mission.
She turned 21 and her papers are in. Last birthday and thanksgiving together, I am feeling sad already. She now stalks that mailbox. I need more tums. Glass of wine anyone? Everyday she is more and more prickly. Just like her brother, who seems to think, if they are mean and we fight that I won't miss them when they are gone. Silly kids. Moms will always miss their children no matter what. Although if she keeps this up I may send her early. "Mom my papers are here"! I will mark December 13th as the hardest day. Reading the call at her Bishops, she is going to Wisconsin. Its fetching cold there, why are they all cheering? Why am I crying? She leaves April 9th. OMGosh. Its weeks until Christmas, our last one for awhile. This is killing me.
April is here, it’s the night before and we can't sleep. Why is she going? I wished I had won the lotto I would have bribed her with a new car. I am sick to my stomach and I cry all the time. We are at the airport, lucky for me, we got a gate pass and I am sitting staring at her. I can smell her perfume; she looks so innocent and happy. I am a bad mom for not wanting her to go on with her life. What is wrong with me? We hug and kiss...she is gone, I watch that plane taxi out of Denver, my life will never be the same, I feel it. My baby girl is gone and there is nothing I can do about this.
I found the Missionary Momma’s group online. They are helping me figure this out. I just might get through this. I get a phone call from the airport, she said, when she goes to Wisconsin, She has a layover, I prayed about going to see her and the Spirit said I shouldn’t go. Why is God always right? HA!
I have been sent Missionaries. Started with 2, now I have 4, really? Ha that’s OK! I pepper them with questions, and I have totally danced around their questions about taking lessons. No way am I going to give up my vices. I am going to a retreat, I hope they don’t pray all day, been there done that in my own religion.
Fast forward…lessons taken, online and at home…baptism dreams and the biggest decision of my life... and 6 missionaries later!
The months fly by. Packages and letter sent. Three phone calls home. Counting down the days for me. She’s witnessed so much on her mission. She has been instrumental in baptisms. She has made an impact in her mission. She is loved by many, and I have shared for 18 months. The time is here. NO more packages. No more letters. Now it’s a welcome home event. She really doesn’t want to come home and I can’t wait.
Thank you all for being here during our journey. I can’t believe its finally here. October 22nd is tomorrow! Its MY turn tomorrow! I get my hug tomorrow! I love you all!